The darkness within
by xxxxWeirdoxxxx
Summary: Takes place right before the Rose goes to take her Qualifiers. She is dealing with some dark stuff from taking Lissa's darkness. It builds up so much, something happens and she ends up with a great power that makes her even more powerful than moroi or dhampir. Can she control it? Will she go crazy like shadow kissed Anna? Its good i'm bad at summeries. ROMITRI. TRIGGER WARNING!


A red line crossed my wrist as I stare down, numb from everything. Its funny because I am supposed to be the strong one, the unbreakable Rose Hathaway. I almost scoff even thinking about it, I am not strong. I don't really know why this started happening, a month ago I was happy despite the Victor and Lissa thing.

 _Lissa..._

I think about her and the feeling comes back like it always does, Guilt. I knew she did this as an escape but I never understood it until the snow hit the ground, signaling the start of winter. I started to feel like this two weeks ago when I noticed the pang of sadness come back into Lissa's mind. I hated that it was even there even if it was faint so faint I doubt she even noticed. It had disappeared the minute I wanted it too. I must have been seeing things then. I grab a piece of toilet paper and hold it to my bleeding wrist to stop it from bleeding. I look at at the clock and curse to myself. I'm late for practice with the Russian God I am currently falling for, well already fell pretty hard after the charm. I think about it for a second, His hands all over me saying my name. I suddenly stop myself, I couldn't think about him that way. He was My teacher and that is it.

I pull down the sleeve of my workout jacket, covering the cuts on my wrist. I think of how many there were. I count mentally in my head and I come to the estimate of 20 cuts, perfectly straight across my wrist. I get to the gym and open the door, I see many dummies that look like real humans. Dimitri isn't here so I put down my stuff and head outside to the track where he was waiting for me. When I get closer I can already see the chastising face he has, as if I were a child getting caught stealing a cookie before supper. I roll my eyes and sit down to start stretching, I dont think I can handle a scolding today. I don't need to hear again how I mess up everything and don't do anything right.

"Rose, if your going to be a great guardian you need to learn the value of time," Dimitri said clearly annoyed. I look at him and nod and continue to do the stretches I know like that back of my hand by now. I see Dimitri staring at me with a curious look but it soon goes away and we run in silence. We run for a long time and all of the sudden Lissa's feeling are some overwhelming I get pulled it in.

 _Christian is on top of me breathing heavy and my heart is racing faster than ever. I cant believe its finally happening, I eas excited to be close with him. Oh god I love him so much._

 _Wait... EW! Oh god I really don't want to be here for Lissa's first time whit pyro! I need out of here. Get out! Get out!_

I open my eyes and the track scenery sets in. I sigh in relive and I look over and Dimitri is in guardian stance, ready for anything. I feel my cheeks heat up and I look down very embarrassed.

"What did you see Rose? Is Lissa okay?, Dimitri asks.

The worry was clear in his voice. I understand why, he doesn't want to let down his charge again. Like he did with Ivan and especially not Lissa, because if he does he could very well be responsible for killing off the Dragomirs. I just realised how much pressure he is under all the time. I felt the same thing when me and Lissa ran. I look up at him with a Hathaway smile.

"Trust me comrade, she's never been better." I say sarcastically. I start running again with some speed. This bond is kind of crazy, I feel crazy at least. I se Dimitri start to run next to me.

"Rose, are you okay?" Dimitri asks with concern lacing his voice. I stop mid run at the question. I didn't know what to say to the question. Not even Lissa noticed that anything was wrong. I cant completely lie, but I certainly am not going to tell the whole truth.

"To be completely honest comrade I haven't been the best lately.' I say. I see that it worried him when I said that so I quickly add.

"I think I'm getting sick is what I mean." I say way to fast. He looks at me suspiciously but nods.

"Well the heaters are broken, Its almost 80 degrees in the gym. You might want to take off your workout Jacket." He adds as we finish running. I start to panic a little and I decide that what I said about being sick came to my advantage.

"I have been super cold lately because I am sick. So Ill probably need to leave it on." He nods and we walk back to the gym in slience. I just work on fighting techniques and stuff. I am punching the dummy when I nottice my wrist is bleeding a lot. I predict that at least seven of the cuts were bleeding. It was very obvious threw my light blue jacket. I look over at the clock and I have 2 minutes left so I stop and cross my arm over my chest. This stance hid the stains out of sight.

"I should get going comrade.'' I say.

''Good Job today. You are improving tremendously.'' Dimitri says with pride.

"Really?" I ask surprised.

"Roza dont ever doubt yourself, your gonna be a great guardian." Dimitri said quietly.

I look down tears in my eyes, I feel one spill down my chick. Dimitris eyes are on me and I move my non bleeding hand and wipe my tears. He steps closer but I step back and walk out. I go back to my dorm and sit on my bed. I pull up my sleeve and the cuts aren't bleeding anymore. I want to cry but I don't. I walk to my bathroom and put on my makeup for the day. I put it on light and natural. Some natural eyeshadow, blush, foundation, mascara, and the lip gloss dimitri got me. For clothes I put on some jean, combat boots, and a black sweater. I put in some hoop earrings and grab my books. I head out down to breakfast where Mason and Eddie were waiting for me.


End file.
